Piano Servicing for Eastern CT and Western RI

CAUTION: Some of these are pretty bad.

What do you get when you throw a grand piano down a mine shaft?
AbMinor (a flat minor) ---thanks to Cat J. for this submission!

Why was the piano invented?
So the musician would have a place to put his beer.

Why is an 11-foot concert grand better than a studio upright?
Because it makes a much bigger kaboom when pushed off a cliff.

The piano player went into a bar but kept fidgeting so much that he could not enjoy his drink. Finally the bartender asked him what was wrong. The piano player replied, "My keys, my keys! I can't seem to find my keys!"

Did you hear about the stupid pianist who kept banging his head against the keys?
He was playing by ear.

(...I told you some of these were bad.)

Hmmm...Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?

So, my Dad bought my Mom a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, I asked how she was doing with it. "Oh," said My Dad, "I persuaded her to switch to a clarinet." "How come?" I asked. "Well," he answered, "because with a clarinet, she can't sing...."

A pianist is playing in a seedy, Mafia-owned tavern in South Jersey...it's 11:55 PM, and he's 5 minutes away from the end of his gig. The owner's assistant comes up to the pianist and says: "Da boss wants you should play Strangers In Da Nite." The pianist says: "Okay, no problem." The henchman continues: "Da boss wants you should play it in F#"... The pianist says "I usually play it in F, but no problem!" The henchman goes on: "Da boss wants you should play it in 5/4 time." The pianist says "But the song is in 4/4 time...How am I supposed to do that?" Henchman asks him: "Look, you want paid or not?" So the pianist improvises an introduction, and as he gets to the opening notes of the song, he hears, in a really ugly, raspy voice behind him: "Strangers in-da-friggin' night....exchanging glances; Strangers in-da-friggin' night ..."

Q: What's the difference between a piano and a fish?
A: You can't tuna fish.

(...and they just get worse.)

A note left for a pianist from his wife:
Gone Chopin, (have Liszt), Bach in a Minuet.

Piano Tuner: I've come to tune the piano.
Music Teacher: But we didn't send for you.
Piano Tuner: No, but the people who live across the street did.

These jokes are so bad I can't Handel them.
They make me Lizstless.
They can be too Mendlesohm.
You'd better go out Bach and stay in Haydn.

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